I wanted to do this for Loki the way we did for Sport. It's been a few days and I'm reminding myself to just breathe as I write this. July 13, 2009 we adopted a 9 week old mackerel tabby kitten. Our oldest niece brought him over explaining her apartment didn't allow pets. Ron joked that once I saw him, he'd live with us forever. He was right. I saw this little kitten march up to Sport who was curious about him and the tiny kitten let out a little hiss and booped Sport's nose. Sport backed up in surprise, but it made me laugh and I fell in love with that feisty kitten. We figured out that his birthday was May 9, 2009 and as I watched this kitten explore, play, and act like he owned the place right from the start, we decided that Loki was the perfect name for him.
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| Loki at 9 weeks old. |
Right from the start, it was clear Loki was going to do whatever he wanted to do. Sport was 8 years old when Loki became a part of our family so he was the big brother. At first, they didn't get along. Loki would boop Sport and Sport would chase him. Ron was the one who sat down with them and worked with them to help them get used to each other, explaining that we were pack, we were family. It took a bit of time, but eventually they accepted each other. Once they were okay with each other, they actually started playing together. Sometimes they would wrestle or run around the living room. A few times they both got scolded because they came racing through the kitchen and knocked me over! There were some funny moments where Loki wanted to play and Sport just wanted to relax and chew on his chew toy. Loki would pounce on him, chew on his ears, and would even try nomming the top of his head. Sport would just keep calm and ignore him which would frustrate Loki a lot. He would give up and just sit there watching Sport and after a while, he would just lie down next to him and go along with the chilling out session.
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| Loki annoyed with Sport for not playing. -2010 |
Loki and Sport were always together. If I couldn't find Loki, all I had to do was look for Sport because they would nap together in Sport's bed or on the couch. They also really liked sitting at the window and watching outside. Loki would come outside with Sport sometimes and wander around with him. They weren't just brothers, they were best friends. Naturally, as Sport got older he moved a little slower and took more naps. Loki was happy to sit with his friend and nap with him or just sit with him at the window or outside. I think a part of Loki knew his brother was getting old so he didn't give him such a hard time about not having the energy to play.
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| Sport and Loki hanging out together. -2013 |
When we had to say goodbye to Sport, it was awful and sad. It still hurts even now to write about him, but he lived to be 16 years old which is pretty good for a happy dog. Towards the end, Loki sat with him a lot and the day we came home without Sport I think on some level Loki knew. He stayed close to us and a few times when I cried, Loki hopped into my lap and purred while I petted him. He would follow Ron too and Ron would pick him up and cuddle him with Loki purring loudly. Loki comforted us, but I think he was taking comfort from us too because we all missed Sport.
Time went on and life moves forward, because that's how the universe works. We still missed Sport, but the pain was a little less and we did our best to live each day good or bad. After some time, Ron and I talked about getting another dog and were firm that we wanted to adopt. We went to the SPCA and looked at the dogs and that's when I noticed a spirited jack russell and I fell in love with him the minute he happily barked at me. I pointed him out to Ron and we took a closer look. We decided we really liked him and went to talk to the people at the front desk. It took a little bit of time and they needed to test the dog with cats. It turned out he was fine with cats, he ignored them. We were able to bring Jake home with us and we were thrilled. Loki was not. He avoided this new dog and stared at him a lot. Then he marched upstairs and sat in front of me with a look that said, first of all how dare you and secondly, I did not approve of this dog!
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| Loki was not happy when we brought Jake home. -July 11, 2017 |
Jake was a year old when we adopted him and he just wanted to play and make friends. Loki did not want any part of it and would walk away from him or bop him on the nose. Jake was never offended by this and would keep going on to play by himself or with us. Then, something happened. Jake was very tired after a walk and lots of playtime and he curled up on the couch and drifted off to sleep. Loki hopped up on the couch a little bit away from him, but he curled up and took a nap too. After that, Loki would sit with Jake sometimes and he liked going outside with him in the backyard walking around. I found it amusing that Loki was now the grumpy old man and Jake was the young upstart testing his patience. If Loki did not want to play he let Jake know with a nose bop. He never had his claws out when he did that as if he knew Jake was just a silly kid. He always seemed happiest sitting with Jake outside or on the couch. Much like Sport, Loki was slowing down and wanted to relax. Jake didn't always get that, but sometimes he did and he would hang out with his big brother.
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| Loki and Jake sitting together as usual. -February 2020 |
We noticed the changes in Loki and we made adjustments for him to make sure he was comfortable. He wasn't eating as much of his kibble so we added a bit of grain free wet food for him which he liked. He wasn't drinking as much water, but I noticed he liked it when the water was moving so I would put in some water into the water dish so he could see it moving and see the bubbles which got him to drink some water. Our vet told us this was normal in older cats, he was just slowing down. He was still as feisty as ever. Whenever I was streaming, everyone in our chat could hear Loki meow loudly as he came into the room. Everyone would say, "Hi Loki!" in chat and I would have to give him chin rubs and ear scritches until he was satisfied. Loki didn't care what I was doing. As far as he was concerned, he was the star and ran the house. I would talk about his antics and how sometimes he would decide to sing the song of his people loudly at 3 in the morning which would frustrate Ron who was sleeping at the time. If his breakfast was late by even a minute, he would let you know with his familiar glare that he was displeased. It was his house and he was allowing us to live in it. He was very much a diva.
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| Loki was letting me know breakfast was one minute late. |
After a time, we noticed Loki was barely eating and drinking. He was having trouble jumping and climbing up the stairs. Shy, our oldest daughter noticed it first and we explained that Loki was old. He was 12 years old so he was not the kitten he once was. We started carrying him up the stairs when he wanted to come up with us and helping him to his food bowl. We made sure he had a low litter box he could just step in so he didn't have to jump. He still loved going outside especially on sunny days. I think he enjoyed the sunshine and the warmth on his old bones. We got a heat pad for him and put it on his bed which he seemed to not like at first, but then when he realized it was warm, he napped there pretty often. He was eating and drinking less and less and sleeping more. I was worried. Ron and I spoke about it and we came to the understanding Loki was winding down. I didn't want to think about that, because this was our sweet boy who had been with us since he was 9 weeks old. Ron hugged me and said he knew because he felt the same way, but that our pets don't live forever. We kept an eye on him and Ron gave him a small bit of honey with his food and Loki ate. He seemed to perk up for a few days after that. He ate his food and drank some water.
Then on Friday, Loki didn't want to eat and he didn't want to have any water. I tried giving him his favorite treat which he always ate right away and he just picked at it. I picked him up and held him and he curled up against my chest, purring. I started crying and I gently put him in Ron's lounge chair because I knew that was his favorite nap spot. I sat with him and petted him and he curled up on the chair. Jake came over and sat with us while I gently spoke to Loki, telling him that I loved him and that if he wanted to go be with Sport, it was okay. I cried the entire time and Jake cuddled up against me trying to be there for us. I let Ron know what was going on and Ron went to check on him and sat with him. Ron said he seemed to be just resting and he would have Shy keep an eye on him so I could sleep. I was tired, but I didn't want to sleep because I was worried about Loki. Ron gently told me that Loki wasn't alone and he knew we loved him. Somehow, I did sleep.
It was Shy who woke me up, crying that she thought Loki was gone. I hugged her and told her it was alright and went downstairs with her. Shy said Loki did follow her around for a bit and he picked at his food, but he let her hold him and curled up against her. She put him on Ron's lounge chair and made sure he was comfortable with his favorite blanket so she could make him some fresh food for dinner. Loki was in his favorite nap spot with his favorite blanket and he curled up like he always did to sleep. He was at home with the people who loved him just as much as he loved them. He was safe, he was happy, and he was loved. Shy went to get him for dinner and that's when she found that our sweet boy was gone. We think he went in his sleep which is not a bad way for a loved diva cat to go. Shy and I hugged and cried a lot. I don't know how I was able to call Ron at work and tell him, but I did. I hated that I had to do that because I know Ron loved Loki, but he said to let him know if anything happened. Jake wouldn't leave Loki. He sat by the chair looking very sad and that broke my heart. When Ron got home, we all hugged, cried, and talked about what we wanted to do for Loki. Jake stayed close and gave us lots of cuddles during the entire time.
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| Jake and Loki together and Jake offers cuddles to everyone. |
I brought up the fact that Loki always loved sitting under our weeping cherry tree in the backyard. Every time we were outside, Loki could always be found sitting or lounging under that tree. We agreed that Loki getting to rest under his favorite tree would be lovely and that it would be a nice spot for him. I'm so grateful to Ron for doing all the digging and placing Loki to rest under his tree. I know that physically and emotionally drained him, but Ron said he loved that cat and he knew it was important. We said our goodbyes to our sweet boy, knowing that he was now running free with his brother Sport.
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| Loki gets to rest under his favorite tree. |
Through all of this, Animal Crossing New Horizons has been a nice distraction. I've been crying off and on for days about Loki, but Animal Crossing has helped me to turn my brain off a bit. I'm not the best at drawing or designing, but I was able to make Loki's face so in a way he gets to be with me in the game which is comforting for me.
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| Loki's face in Animal Crossing. |
Loki was more than just a cat the way Sport was more than just a dog. He was part of our pack, he was family. Even on the days where he would be a mischief making diva, we loved him. Sometimes on my bad anxiety/depression days, Loki would sit with me keeping me company. When Shy moved back home, Loki wasn't sure about her, but he came to love her too. He was convinced everyone in our family was his person and all food belonged to him. He still thought that Jake was silly, but he loved him and decided he wasn't so bad after all as he went outside for walks with him. There are moments where I thought I heard his meow or I forget and close the door to the bathroom because he liked to play in the water. For 12 years, Loki kept us on our toes with his antics and he showed us so much love with all his cuddles, his meows, and he had a big personality. He was a diva, but he was our diva and he will always be our sweet boy. I'm sure he's having fun with his brother Sport and showing everyone why he's the boss cat. Goodbye, Loki. Thank you for 12 years of adventures and love. We love you.
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We love you, Loki.
May 12, 2009 - July 2, 2021 |
