Mother Gamer Plays Celeste

On my day off from streaming, I decided to play Celeste. I had seen others play it and the story, artwork, and gameplay intrigued me. I realized the keyboard controls were rough on my arthritic hands so I hooked up a controller to play. Celeste starts with an introduction to the platform jumping gameplay of the game. You play as a young woman named Madeline as she climbs the mountain avoiding various hazards and obstacles.

Madeline learns about the mountain.

There was a bit of a learning curve for me with Celeste as I tried to figure out when to air dash and how quickly I had to jump and move across ledges, whether or not I could climb up a wall, and trying not to panic as pathways crumbled underneath me. Once I got the hang of it, I was able to enjoy the game. I did turn on Assist Mode because it was my first time playing the game which helped a bit. I failed a lot of course as I missed a jump or Madeline ran out of stamina as she climbed a wall. However, I wasn't mad about it because I was having fun with the game and genuinely loving the story as well as appreciating the art style and the music. 

Timing those jumps and dashes!

As I progressed through the game, it added a few more mechanics I had to learn. This took me quite a few tries, but I appreciated the care and thought that went into this game as I followed the story. I liked meeting all the different characters on Madeline's journey because it added different layers and viewpoints. The characters were likable and that includes the main character herself. I related so much to Madeline because of the anxiety she feels and the depression that lies to her. I have lived with depression and anxiety for so long that there are days where it feels like it is a great burden of grey that will consume me. Playing through Celeste was cathartic for me in a way because here was the main character going through these things and having similar thoughts that I have had when trying to do better about caring for my own mental health. One of my favorite scenes in Celeste is the gondola and feather breathing scene. I understood all too well that feeling of overwhelming panic that is so intense you feel as if you can not breathe. That scene was so beautiful and deeply personal to me, that I realized just how special Celeste is. 

This moment in the game was a favorite for me.

As I kept playing the game, I found more and more details that I loved. The big thing is the story because it is so well done as it gently conveys the message that it's okay to fail and that it's vital for us to be kind to ourselves and take care of our mental health. It also homed in on the point that sometimes we have to take a step back in order to take care of ourselves and not hurt others. Celeste is a challenging platform jumper game, but it's also so much more. It is a beautifully thoughtful story about the importance of being honest with ourselves about our mental health and take the steps to practice self care. It also shows us that it's okay to fall and be scared, but that there is always hope and that is what we hold onto to get us through the grey days. Celeste moved me to tears with the story because it made me feel so deeply and intensely for the characters. I appreciated the message about loving and accepting myself as I am. The gameplay is well done and the music fits each scene and level perfectly. We need more games like Celeste because we need that gentle reminder that it's okay to not be okay and it's okay to need help and ask for it. I am going to play through it again because it was that good for me. 

This is such a beautiful game. 

*Celeste is available to play on the following platforms: Linux, Mac OS, Microsoft Windows, Nintendo Switch, Playstation 4, and Xbox One

*Come hang out and discuss mental health with our community as we enjoy games: https://www.twitch.tv/mothergamer

How Gaming And One Year Of Twitch Streaming Helped Me

 I have been an avid gamer since I was a kid and gaming has helped my mental health a great deal. I live with depression and anxiety. Depression and anxiety can be such a rough thing for me and there are days when grey days are really bad. It can be difficult to remember the negative voices lie all the time and while I have gotten better about that, it's still something I am working on every day. One of the big things that has helped me with a bad grey day is gaming. Being able to enjoy a favorite game helps me to distract my mind from those negative thoughts and just have a break from stressing myself out.

When I first decided to stream on Twitch a year ago it was to challenge myself to try something new and do something that scared me. For those who know me really well they will tell you I am a very quiet and shy person especially when I'm meeting new people. I don't really talk much and I observe until I feel comfortable. The idea of streaming and talking on a mic scared me, but I challenged myself to do it. Everyone starts somewhere and the first night I streamed I streamed directly from my PS4 and I did not talk on the mic. The first game I ever streamed was Dragon Quest XI: Echoes Of An Elusive Age. I typed in chat with people while playing the game. It was definitely an interesting first night, but I did it. The second night I tried talking on a mic. Looking back, my voice was a little shaky and quiet. I was so nervous! What matters however, is I did it and as I kept talking I started to relax and became a bit more comfortable because everyone in my chat was so kind and encouraging. I found that the more I streamed, the easier it got and I figured out a schedule that worked for me and found my rhythm with my streams. I am still not ready to be in a front of a camera while streaming, but talking on the mic works for me and our community is very kind and understanding about it.


I love story driven and indie games such as Wandersong. There's just something about a good story and gameplay that I love. Wandersong was a favorite for me because not only was it a good story game it was also fun to play and it had some thoughtful insights about the meaning of friendship and reaching out to people who need kindness. This showed me what I wanted for our community. I started speaking openly and honestly about my own mental health to show others that it's okay to not be okay, it's alright to talk about it, and that there is no shame in seeking help from a licensed therapist. I continue to advocate for open and honest conversation about mental health and seeking help when we need it because our mental health is just as important as our physical health.

Wandersong was one of my favorite games to stream. 

I always make it perfectly clear that I'm not an expert and point out the importance of getting professional help from a licensed therapist. I get a lot of young people telling me how scared they are of therapy and I do everything I can to talk to them kindly and gently about it explaining how it works. I use my experience with therapy as an example because it has helped me a lot and continues to help me. Our community does our best to be kind, welcoming, and supportive of everyone. Everyone is welcome and we have a lot of important conversations about mental health and gentle reminders that it's okay to take time for ourselves and take care of our mental health. Sometimes with some of the games I play for streams, there are moments or situations in the game that bring up some of these topics organically. For example, the Shane personal story arc in Stardew Valley. There is a scene with Shane that addresses his depression and it is in a word intense. Shane has a crisis moment with his depression and the main character in Stardew Valley does her/his best to help Shane. It's a powerful scene in the game and we had a conversation about it in our community about what it means to need help and why sometimes it's hard to ask for help. Stardew Valley helped us to talk honestly about mental health and learn some things too. 

Stardew Valley offers more than farming, it offers important lessons about mental health also.

Being able to play games and talk to people about mental health openly and honestly has helped me a great deal. It's helped me to make new friends, to come out of my shell a bit, and to be kind to others the way so many were kind to me when I needed someone to talk to or just needed some help. One of the best friendships I made was with m friend and fellow streamer tifad0esart. Tifa is an insanely talented artist and I always love watching her art streams. Not only that, she does emote art commissions. She is my go to emote artist always because of the incredible work she does. Tifa does a fantastic job of sketching out exactly what I want and communicates with me about every detail until it's done. So many people love the emotes she's done for my stream channel which makes me very happy because Tifa deserves that recognition. If you're looking for an emote artist hit her up on twitter. She's fantastic!

Amazing emotes done by tifad0esart

As my year progressed, streaming got easier. I slowly did upgrades. I tried remote play for streaming. That was an adventure in itself. Remote play for PS4 and streaming is not always reliable and that's putting it lightly. I did my best to make it work, but sometimes there were so many technical issues it drove me up the wall. My husband Ron has been my biggest supporter and he's my tech guy. Ron is the one who is at my side for every moment and he is the one who helps me test things to see what works, what doesn't, or what needs to be fixed. Ron did everything to set up his streaming PC for me so I could use the capture card and go from there. It was definitely a vast difference. There are still tech issues sometimes, but that is rare. Ron has always cheered me on, assured me that I'm doing fine when I have a grey day, and always lets me know that I am loved. Sometimes he hangs out with me for streams and chats with everyone sometimes offering sage advice and kind words. There's a reason everyone in our community calls him Stream Dad. Ron was there for my one year anniversary on Twitch which was on September 7, and it was amazing. 

Celebrating 1 year on Twitch with Ron. 

Gaming and streaming for one year on Twitch has helped me to not be afraid to be myself, to talk openly and honestly about my own health and encouraging others to be able to talk about their own mental health journey without fear. Everyone in our community has helped to build a place that is kind, supportive, and understanding. I'm grateful to everyone who has been there for me through all of it. I am also grateful to my friends and fellow streamers who encouraged me with their kind words and support. It's hard to believe that it's been one year on Twitch and I'm looking forward to many more. To everyone in our community, thank you for the love, support, and kindness. Remember to be kind to yourselves and to each other. Love you all!

Thank you for an amazing year! Here's to many more! 

*Come join us for gaming and great conversations about mental health on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mothergamer

*You are not alone. If you need someone to talk to, there is help: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/

*Heart Support is a kind and welcoming mental health community. You can join the conversation here: https://heartsupport.com/